Author Archives: E

Emotional labour

A brief breakdown: event: I broke your vase. event: I bought you a gift but then left it at home event: I want to go to a (privately valuable event) on our (relationship important day) Options: I wanted to save … Continue reading

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Repairing Anxiety using Internal and External locus of control models

I want you to examine your map.  It’s the representation you carry around in your head that says, “I am in control of most things” or it says, “most things are out of my control”.  Or for very specific things it … Continue reading

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models of cuteness and human face attractiveness

I found out that I don’t measure any cuteness in my head.  That is to say I have never seen a baby thing and had a feeling inside me to coo at it.  Nor have I ever seen something cute … Continue reading

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Models of human relationships – tools to understand people

This post will not teach you the models here.  This post is a summary of the models that I carry in my head.  I have written most of the descriptions without looking them up (See Feynman notebook method).  If you … Continue reading

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How long has civilisation been going?

I didn’t realise how short human history was.  Somewhere around 130,000 years ago we were standing upright as we are today.  Somewhere around 50,000 years ago we broadly arrived at: the fully modern capacity for Culture * That’s roughly when … Continue reading

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Feelings in the map.

Following on from: Concrete instructions One of the underlying concepts of NVC (Non Judgemental communication) is to speak from your own perspective.  There is a very powerful instance of being able to ask for clarifications.  “I am confused” instead of “you … Continue reading

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Concrete Instructions

The Concrete Instruction Model This post underpins other posts but may be particularly raw on it’s own.  It’s potentially really dumb and obvious but leads to other important skills later. What I want you to do is to describe an … Continue reading

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ideas on a spectrum

In applicable advice, I talk about taking advice carefully, and only when you know why it works, to apply it in purposefully.  There is a specific type of behaviour that can be changed, adapted, challenged and improved.  Some examples include: … Continue reading

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Zen Koans

The following is my notes.  From a dojo with Lesswrong Sydney about zen koans.  The recording is how it went down, some things might be hard to understand because there is no visual recording.  I would encourage you to try … Continue reading

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Call to action

Core knowledge: List of common human goals Part 1: Exploration-Exploitation Part 1a: The application of the secretary problem to real life dating Part 1b: adding and removing complexity from models Part 2: Bargaining Trade-offs to your brain. Part 2a.1: A strategy against … Continue reading

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