Category Archives: communication

Use concrete language to improve your communication in relationships

She wasn’t respecting me. Or at least, that’s what I was telling myself. And I was pretty upset. What kind of person was too busy to text back a short reply? I know she’s a friendly person because just a … Continue reading

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Feelings in the map.

Following on from: Concrete instructions One of the underlying concepts of NVC (Non Judgemental communication) is to speak from your own perspective.  There is a very powerful instance of being able to ask for clarifications.  “I am confused” instead of “you … Continue reading

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Concrete Instructions

The Concrete Instruction Model This post underpins other posts but may be particularly raw on it’s own.  It’s potentially really dumb and obvious but leads to other important skills later. What I want you to do is to describe an … Continue reading

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ideas on a spectrum

In applicable advice, I talk about taking advice carefully, and only when you know why it works, to apply it in purposefully.  There is a specific type of behaviour that can be changed, adapted, challenged and improved.  Some examples include: … Continue reading

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Noble excuses

I was talking to a lady in her 60s who was losing weight, and exercising.  She said to me; “All my life, my husband was an iron man.  I felt terribly embarrassed, like everyone in the room was looking at … Continue reading

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On excuses and validity

We learn’t yesterday about what is a problem? I want to talk about one specific aspect of the barrier.  The part of the barrier that is inside your head.  The one that makes excuses. The barrier inside my own head. … Continue reading

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book me!

I finally set this up! https://bearlamp.youcanbook.me/ I think I would still prefer that you get in touch with me to plan something, but in lieu of that I am provisioning for my future where I need to book people like … Continue reading

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The call of the void

L’appel du vide – The call of the void. When you are standing on the balcony of a tall building, looking down at the ground and on some track your brain says “what would it feel like to jump”.  When … Continue reading

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Hedging

Hedging. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedge_%28linguistics%29 Examples: Men are evil All men are evil Some men are evil most men are evil many men are evil I think men are evil I think all men are evil I think some men are evil I … Continue reading

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Addendum to applicable advice

If you see advice in the wild and think somethings along the lines of “that can’t work for me”, that’s a cached thought.  It could be a true cached thought or it could be a false one.  Some of these … Continue reading

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